How did I miss the chapter in the book that spoke about the agony that nursing can be? The stanza that mentions when you are no longer taking codine for the abdominals they misplaced when they put the zipper in you will feel the real pain of it all. You will watch milk mix with blood and convince yourself that you are failing him. (He is sure to be sneaking out to bring rabbits home in his mouth since you gave him a taste for it. For shame.)
I had read the books. I had asked the questions and I had listened to the moms I knew who would tell me their story thinking it would prep me for mine.
There weren't instructions on this kind of pain- I remember my mom saying nursing is 'uncomfortable' and you can bet I called her the next day to tell her a wedgie is uncomfortable ..this is pain- or what in the ever living hell it would feel like for them to scoop a baby out of you one day and then 12 hours later say 'we are going to get you standing today' as you yell in your head at that you are 99% sure you now permanently walk at this odd angle of nose to the ground meets 92 year old in slippers shuffle.
The chapter on how to navigate all of this hasn't been written yet.
REACH for that small handful of friends that you can call crying into the phone and their response will be 'okay I'm here' as they wait patiently in silence until you speak. REACH for that partner who will stand by your bed and read an entire chapter of a book if it will bring an ounce of comfort. REACH for THOSE people. Only you know who they are. They are ones that will answer and listen because they know there ain't no damn book that can talk you down like they can and they are feeling the same thing.
REACH for them. And when you get them....hold on
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